MySpace

I spend way too much time on this site lurking and generally making fun of idiots. I have come up with some conclusions based upon vague stereotypes of people's pages I view. Although it is deemed ignorant and politically incorrect, you the readers of this know that general stereotyping can be quite fun. If the things I am about to point out offend you, please feel free to (1) delete me (DO IT ASSHOLES), (2) Drop dead, or (3) go stick an elephants trunk up your ass.

1. WOMEN (and I suppose gay men) WHO LIST "TANNING" AS ONE OF THEIR GENERAL INTERESTS: These people should be immediately sterilized for listing the slow roasting of their skin as something that occupies their life. I think I should list "whitening" as something I enjoy but fear that others would label the term "racist."

2. THOSE WHO LIST BET AS THEIR ONLY ITEM UNDER "TELEVISION": Do I need to explain this one any further?

3. THOSE WHO HAVE PICTURES OF 40 OUNCERS AS DEFAULT PICS: These are the tools of society who think partying is either an artform or some sort of self-expression. Don't get me wrong, I am a 17 year old woman who sometimes drinks these massive bottles of watered down alcohol, but I don't take pictures of them as if they are some sort of GOD.

4. PEOPLE WHO HAVE NUMEROUS PICTURES OF THEIR CARS OR MOTORCYCLES: These are the members of the "he who dies with the most toys wins" club. Due to their lack of self-confidence and basic mental skills, they feel the need to collect fancy toys for all the world to see. There might be a tinge of jealousy from me here due to the fact that I don't have toys like that. Oh well.

5. PEOPLE WHO POST PICTURES OF MY DEAD FRIEND AS THEIR OWN AND ARE NAMED GARY: (this is just an excuse to bust your balls Mark R.) You are a Jesus loving yet Jesus scapegoating follower. Not only is your brother hot, but so is your DAD. The reason you are the luckiest bookmaker I know is because of your rapidly balding head. (Bookmaker like Simon & Schuster *wink*wink*) When you get to HELL after me you be will be eternally tortured by being force fed onions and mayo by a gum cracking stripper who is as black as coal and resembles Patrick Ewing's long lost twin sister. After you get done reading this and eating your fried chicken, get in your mini-van and go bet your 1-2 chalks at the racetrack you cheap motherfucker! Hahahaha! By the way... what 21 year old single guy owns a mini-van?

6. PEOPLE WHO HAVE MAJORITY OF THEIR PICS AS CLOSEUPS OF THEIR TATTS AND PIERCINGS: These are the bottom feeders of the MySpace gene pool. Ever been to a 24-hour WAL-MART at 2am and see the assholes who bring bring their 6-year-old children with them? These are those people. Its bad enough I get to view multiple blurry pics of your homemade tatt00s on this site, but I don't need to hear your bastard children utter phrases such as "Mommy, can you buy me the 24 pack of Mountain Dew?" (official drink of the white trash) as I attempt to do some nocturnal shopping.